Friday, December 5, 2008

How Precious Life Is - Rebel for a Cause

There are a few things in my life that are very dear to my heart. My children are definitely one of those. This past March, when Aiden was born, we came way too close to seeing that blissful moment turn into tragedy. Without going into too much detail, which would take pages of posting to explain, I will try to give the shortened version. I had had two previous c-sections and was having Aiden vaginally at home with the assistance of two very skilled midwife . Uterine rupture is a risk (less then 1%) when having a VBAC (vaginally birth after c/s). I educated myself and took responsibility for that risk and still decided that birthing my baby naturally and at home was the best option for us. I did not know during the end pushing phase of my labor that my uterus had ruptured, only that I was in extreme pain. Having never had a vaginal birth before I just assumed that this was the worst of the labor pains. When the uterus ruptures most often it is an emergency, with mere minutes to have baby delivered before there are tragic results. Not knowing my uterus was ruptured (I will never know for sure the exact moment it happened, I have watched my birth video more times then I care to try and figure it all out. Somethings just aren't meant for us to know), I continued birthing Aiden naturally. I was able to birth him but when he was born he was lifeless and not breathing. This could have been a result of the clefting causing issues with his breathing or more likely as a result of the rupture, which can cut off supply from the placenta to the baby. My midwives were awesome and took over right away. They were breathing for him and calling 911 to have the paramedics come and evaluate him and transfer us to the hospital. It was in those moments that I saw my entire purpose for life being taken from me. I was so fearful that my baby was going to be gone just as fast as he had been given to me. Words can not express how heartwrenching it felt. The thought of loosing a child is something no one should have to experience. Aiden did start to breath on his own about 12 minutes after he was born, right as the paramedics arrived for transport. By the time he hit the end of the driveway he was crying extremely loud, such a great sound to hear and no stopping him now. I was then transferred to the hospital as well for excessive bleeding. When I got there I was not treated well and pretty much just ignored and sent home. It wasn't till 5 days later, in EXTREME pain, unable to do the simplest of life's functions, that my husband insisted I go back to the emergency room. It was then that they figured out that I had a ruptured uterus and would need emergency surgery due to the blood pooling inside and most likely a hysterectomy. There were mulitple blood transfussions, emergency surgery, and a week long hospital stay with uncertainty for the outcome. No one could believe that not only had my son made it into this world alive with my ruptured uterus, but that I also walked around and semi-functioned for five full days. Most women have serious issues after mere minutes. It is my firm belief that God held me through those moments, to fight for my son, and then when it was my turn he placed me in the right hands for care. I knew my life was on the edge. I felt like I was dying (and not just in the, wow I am in a lot of pain way of dying, but seeing the light, feeling like I was leaving my body kind of way). On that operating room table I lost my uterus, which the surgeon said looked like a firework had exploded inside of me. I mourn the loss but rejoice so much more in what I have gained from the whole experience. I have had the opportunity to meet women who have gone through the same experience as me but have different outcomes. Women who have lost their precious babies. Women who only through a miracle where able to save their uterus and go on to have future babies. My life has forever changed and my perspective on how fragile life really is, is so much more concrete in my mind. Not a day goes by that I don't remember how quickly it could have all been taken away. Not a day goes by that I don't scoop up my little guy and just whisper in his ear how grateful I am that God allows me to keep him another day. Not everyone is as lucky as I am.

So this brings me to the reason for this whole post. If you have never read MckMama's blog, you should because she is a brillant woman. She has provided us with an opportunity to give to those women who have faced the loss of an infant. I can not do justice to this posting, so you should click on the link above and read all about the three charities she has chosen to support this Christmas season. She has set up this site to allow others to donate money, and as of this posting she has already gotten over $9,000!! There will be a drawing from all of those that donated to win a Canon Rebel camera. The camera would be an awesome thing to win, but more importantly, knowing that women who are currently grieving the loss of their child are being supported in ways we will never comprehend is prize enough. Christmas is very tight this year and Dale and I had agreed to not buy anything for each other. When I told him about the cause and what it meant to me, we both decided to do a very small thing and donate what we could. If you would like to join me, please click on the 'Chip In' button below and help raise more money for these three worthy charities.

They will continue to take donations till Dec. 14th, so check back in with my blog because I am going to post the Chip In on my side bar so we can check the progress as the donations increase. I am so excited to see where we end up. And I hope that as we get closer to Christmas that we will all take the time to remember how precious life is and how blessed we are to have what God has entrusted us with.

1 comment:

  1. Wow, I had no idea. Aiden really is, in every way, a miracle baby. Thank you for sharing a bit of your journey with us.